What The Nice Guy Means By “Nice” — Hint: It’s Not “I’m Entitled To Sex”

I had a patient, let’s call him ‘Henry’, who came to hospital after being picked up for police for beating up his fifth wife.

“And why, exactly, were you beating your wife this time?” I asked.

“She was yelling at me, because I was cheating on her with one of my exes.”

“With your ex-wife? One of the ones you beat up?”

“Yeah.”

“So you beat up your wife, she left you, you married someone else, and then she came back and had an affair on the side with you?” I asked him.

“Yeah,” said Henry.

* * *

When I was younger – and I mean from teeanger hood all the way until about three years ago – I was a nice guy. In fact, I’m still a nice guy at heart, I just happen to mysteriously have picked up girlfriends. And I said the same thing as every other nice guy, which is “I am a nice guy, how come girls don’t like me?”

There seems to be some confusion about this, so let me explain what it means, to everyone, for all time.

It does not mean “I am nice in some important cosmic sense, therefore I am entitled to sex with whomever I want.”

It means: “I am a nicer guy than Henry.”

I didn’t think I deserved to have the prettiest girl in school prostrate herself at my feet. But I did think I deserved to not be doing worse than Henry.

(Edited for succinctness.)

Bad news, nice guys: what women (especially feminists) *say* they want, is very different from what they *actually* respond to. Don’t listen to their words; instead, observe their actions, then organize your life accordingly.

Via Radicalizing the Romanceless | Slate Star Codex.

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